Did you know 1 in 4 couples married 25+ years are getting divorced? Just 20 years ago, this statistic was 1 in 15! If you really think about it, so much has happened in the past 20 years - both good and bad for marriages.
With the advent of the internet, pornography, online dating, and rekindling past high school relationships abound, tearing couples apart emotionally, spiritually, and physically. The advancement of technology places access to information and people in the palm of our hands, which also makes it more secretive and sinister.
Trust me, I love having access to Google, my bank accounts, and the ability to connect instantly with people from home, in the car, or even in a different country! But even Carlyn and I had to create "no phone zones" when we sit to eat together or when we get to bed so we spend time talking with each other instead of others.
Unless couples take these types of intentional steps to cultivate relationship building, they will drift apart instead of draw closer together. We have seen it over and over. And when you think about it, those you are talking to or texting with, are they really more important than your forever friend? I hope you answered 'no' to that question.
So, I have 3 experiments for you. And the main purpose of these are to revitalize and enrich your relationship, create closeness and romance, and most importantly, keep developing oneness - God's intention from the creation of Adam & Eve! But it takes work, so try these exercises out...
Experiment 1: Go out on a date night and talk about your wedding vows. If you wrote a custom vow for your big day, read it again to each other and share how you are successfully fulfilling it or you have some work to do. If you used a traditional vow, share how you are navigating the better or worse, in richer or poorer, or in sickness or health. Make a re-commitment to each other and review your vows at least weekly to keep things fresh and alive!
Experiment 2: Want to transform your home environment to a more positive and fun one? Then your next experiment will be to be more positive and fun! More compliments rather than criticisms. More laughter than complaints. More positive and encouraging words than put downs and sarcasm. More couple or family time rather than technology time - go out and do things together. Think of ways to bless people in your neighborhood & do it - bake some cookies together and pass them out together.
There's more you can do to revitalize, and in come cases, revolutionize your relationship! Try these two experiments for a month and let me know the results. And remember, you have to celebrate whatever progress you make. It might not always be perfect, but don't give up. Persistence is the key!
And if you want to learn a few more experiments you can try, I will be speaking on Friday, May 31st at 6pm. WE-Newed: 3 Crazy Experiments You Can Do to Revitalize Your Marriage! Check out the flyer... Hope to see you there. Make it a Dinner Date! Cost includes dinner. Seating is limited so please RSVP soon.
